Crouched by Cardinal Robbins
by Cardinal Robbins
Summary: “I have no idea where he is,” Tutuola snapped. “Keeping Munch in sight is like tryin’ to herd cats, only worse.” He cringed, his knees and back sending spasms of pain through him. “We better find him soon, that’s all I got to say.” SVU AU


Sarah Zelman crouched beside her desk in the darkened bullpen. "Elliot!" she whispered frantically, "Where's John?" She could feel sweat glistening across her forehead, her glasses almost fogging from the moisture. "I need to know!"

"I don't know, Sarah," Stabler admitted. "I thought you knew…" He was sidled by his desk as well, keeping his head down, out of sight. "You lost him?" he asked, his tone almost accusatory.

"I figured you'd keep watch for him," she shot back. "I am not my Munch's keeper." Her knees ached sharply, she wanted to stand, but there was no way she could right then.

"Fin!" Olivia called quietly. "Where the hell is he? We need him – now." She was practically under Stabler's desk. She could almost smell footprints on the floor.

"I have no idea where he is," Tutuola snapped back. "Keeping Munch in sight is like tryin' to herd cats, only worse." He cringed, his knees and back sending spasms of pain through him. "We better find him soon, that's all I got to say."

"Want me to try his cell phone?" Cragen asked, squatting, his back against an empty desk. "We need to know where he's at, people. This isn't getting any easier." He took his cell phone out of his front pocket and flipped it open.

"No calls! Too risky," Zelman asserted. "Quiet, everyone. I hear footsteps." She joined her colleagues in holding their collective breath. "Steady, people…steady…" she whispered, listening carefully. "Be ready to move on my command." They had chosen her to lead, and she took her responsibilities very seriously.

They heard a voice ask, "What the hell?" And then bright light illuminated the room.

"Now!" Zelman called out, making her move with the rest of them.

"Happy birthday!" they said in unison, all of them standing at the same time.

"Jesus, you scared me half out of my mind!" Munch said loudly, his hand on his chest. "Thank you, everyone… I didn't know anyone remembered." His face was decidedly pink, flushed with a measure of both embarrassment and pride.

"You knew we couldn't let your birthday go by without a party. We had to keep you out of the house, long enough to smuggle in the cake," Sarah said, laughing.

"Good job, team," Cragen said, pouring himself a glass of punch, from a large bowl on the desk he was hiding against. "John, here's to you – happy birthday and many more."

"Thanks, Cap." He looked from one to the other of his colleagues and laughed. "How long was everyone waiting?"

"Too damn long, if you ask me," Fin retorted, stretching. "I'm getting too old for this, but at least I'm not as old as you." He shook hands with John and laughed. "We almost gave you a heart attack, didn't we?"

"Almost? I think I've popped an aneurism or something," Munch admitted. "And lay off the 'old' comments or you won't get any cake." He took a long, serrated knife from Sarah and waited while candles were lit.

"Make that wish a good one!" Elliot called out. "For God's sake, don't tell us what it is!" He winked at Zelman, who blushed red hot. Everyone laughed long and loud, singing "Happy Birthday" as John blew out the candles in one breath.

Applause erupted in the bullpen as Olivia yelled, "Speech!"

Munch made a face and raised his brows. "I'm not the best at public speaking…"

"That hasn't stopped you before," Sarah joked, getting a look for her efforts. "Hey!" She elbowed John and whispered, "Say something…it's your birthday, we're your friends." Her smile egged him on and he cleared his throat.

He dropped his head down and thought for a moment, before looking up. "I want to say thank you to everyone," he began. "This was completely unexpected and a terrific surprise. Thank you for remembering my birthday, even though I'm old enough to want to ignore it." John took the candles off the cake, placing them in a napkin…to keep. "And now, as Marie Antoinette would say, let us eat cake."

He cut pieces of chocolate raspberry cake with white frosting, giving the ladies pieces with gaudy icing roses in deep blue. He thought that perhaps he should have taken a photo of the cake, with its beautifully-rendered version of the NYPD shield, but before he knew it flashbulbs went off. Zelman had bought a disposable camera and put it to good use.

An hour later, satiated by cake and caffeine, the Sixteenth Precinct slowly went back to the business at hand.

But John Munch's smile lasted all day.

Best of all, that night, his wish came true. It was a very happy birthday, indeed.


End file.
